YOU ARE FUCKED.
I'm sorry.
First of all, at this point I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to have to PAY somebody to make you happen and, historically speaking, I've not demonstrated that I'm very good at financial planning so that makes your manifestation slightly less likely....
Although, in fairness, only a teeny weeny bit less likely than the traditional manner of procreation (ie; finding a lovely boy to willingly marry then subsequently impregnate me) which is extremely unlikely at this point so...I guess, basically...
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXISTENCE.
Secondly, I know I'm supposed to be all, like,
"oh ovaries, I shall feed you nothing but organic produce and do lots of Yoga and think happy, peaceful thoughts until I am ready to use your follicles!"
Buuuuuut...the truth is I have been drinking way too much wine and eating way too much of the produce that is "on sale" as opposed to that which is labeled "organic" (that is, when i eat produce at ALL as opposed to subsisting exclusively on wine and hummus), so.....OOPS.
Lastly, I suspect there's an undiagnosed "crazy" gene running prominently through our family tree (see here, here and here for examples) sooooo...
Yeah.
Good luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment