Many interesting things happened whilst you were gone (none of which demonstrate irresponsibility on my part) including, but not limited to:
1) I fed & watered your Black Labrador Retriever, Rosie.
2) My Shih Tzu ate some of her own poo (and maybe Rosie's too...it's hard to tell, but nonetheless your yard is FREE of poo...you're welcome).
3) I learned how to...make AWESOME homemade pizza.
4) I accidentally set fire to some pizza dough in your oven (you really should check the batteries in your smoke detectors…no reason, just a feeling I have…that maybe you should do that, but not because of flame or smoke or anything)
5) I ate some really awesome homemade pizza
6) Rosie ate nothing but the dog food that I was supposed to provide for her and did NOT get diarrhea from eating burned pizza dough because she ONLY ate her own dog food which I gave her as instructed.
7) I slept on your couch and received 22 different bites on my person from some unknown/unseen blood sucking insect that may or may not be bedbugs or mosquitos or fleas or whatever else might be hiding in your couch that is NOT spiders because THAT would be gross.
8) Rosie ate a pair of my socks which have yet to come out her nether region so I'm gonna need to ask you to let me know if those show up. (seriously, those were $4 socks so...)
9) Also, I may have forgotten to flush one (or all) of the toilets before I left (some of which were full when I arrived....no judgement, just sayin).
1) I fed & watered your Black Labrador Retriever, Rosie.
2) My Shih Tzu ate some of her own poo (and maybe Rosie's too...it's hard to tell, but nonetheless your yard is FREE of poo...you're welcome).
3) I learned how to...make AWESOME homemade pizza.
4) I accidentally set fire to some pizza dough in your oven (you really should check the batteries in your smoke detectors…no reason, just a feeling I have…that maybe you should do that, but not because of flame or smoke or anything)
5) I ate some really awesome homemade pizza
6) Rosie ate nothing but the dog food that I was supposed to provide for her and did NOT get diarrhea from eating burned pizza dough because she ONLY ate her own dog food which I gave her as instructed.
7) I slept on your couch and received 22 different bites on my person from some unknown/unseen blood sucking insect that may or may not be bedbugs or mosquitos or fleas or whatever else might be hiding in your couch that is NOT spiders because THAT would be gross.
8) Rosie ate a pair of my socks which have yet to come out her nether region so I'm gonna need to ask you to let me know if those show up. (seriously, those were $4 socks so...)
9) Also, I may have forgotten to flush one (or all) of the toilets before I left (some of which were full when I arrived....no judgement, just sayin).
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