Texty Tuesdays: Firecrotch & Ratchets

Welcome to Texy Tuesdays!  Posts in which I copy onto this here blog actual, REAL text conversations that occurred between myself and my sister, Meg...These conversations are real-despite what you may think after reading them such as, "what?!  THAT didn't happen...and even if it did, there's no way anyone in their RIGHT MIND would post that on the internets for the whole world to read." (that was you talking to yourself in my head)

Well rest assured, dear reader (reader, not READERS because there's only ONE of you that I know of) I am actually not IN my right mind for most of the time.  So there.

The other day I was at my sister's for dinner.  As per usual, the conversation quickly deteriorated.  I have gotten in the habit of recording conversations I have with my sister (and my dad) on my phone when they appear to be headed south. 

On this occasion, I was too drunk to record the whole conversation neglected to record the pre-amble to the conversation, so I was pretty confused when I reviewed my notes prompting the following text exchange:
Me: Can you help me recreate this conversation accurately?  I took the following notes:

Meg: What's a firecrotch?
Me: U don't know what firecrotch means?
Meg: No
Molly (Meg's 14 y/o daughter): She doesn't even know what 'ratchet' means.
Me: What?  How is that possible?
Meg: I don't know.  The kids use it a lot.
Me: They what?!  Why?

Meg: Well, I thought firecrotch was a term for a gay man.  Like the word flamer or something.  Which brought up my apparent ignorance on teen slang which is why I asked why kids referred to themselves as ratchet.  To which you were shocked and appalled that one of my kids rolls with someone who called themselves ratchet.  Whereupon we looked it up and I called the teacher.
Me: OMG.  It's worse than I thought.
Meg: Um, YEAH.
Me: No.  That is NOT the meaning of firecrotch. lol
Meg: Yes.  U clarified for me.  This whole time I thought he was a flaming gay guy.
Me: *sigh* what will we do with you?
Meg: I kno.  I'm hopeless.