The following conversation just happened. Unfortunately.
My parents are going out of town and *apparently* want to make good and sure that I know there is to be no S-E-X in this house whilst they are gone. One minute my dad and I are innocently debating whether or not I have a secret boyfriend I am hiding from him (I do not-for the record, but if I DID I would DEFINATELY hide said boyfriend from my Dad for so many different reasons), the next minute we're in totally uncharted territory.
Dad: You know the trouble with crabs, don't you?
Me: Wait, what?
Dad: Crabs.
Me: Please tell me you're referring to the shell fish.
Dad: They say the worst part about crabs is that when you're in the shower they climb up your butt to avoid the water and then track sh*t all over you when they come back out.
Me: (no response)
Dad: It's true.
Me: Good to know.
Dad: I learned that in Okinawa.
Me: (no response)
Dad: I was in the Army.
Me: (no response)
Dad: The guys there always had crabs.
Me: Hmmm...You don't say?
Dad: Oh yeah. It was rampant.
Me: You know the NFL draft starts tomorrow.
Dad: (no response)
Me: I don't know about you but I'm pretty excited about it.
Dad: (no response)
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