As per usual, I'm not super clear on how a regular, normal conversation became something VERY different, but I blame myself.
The mollusk in question:
 |
| Vagina in a shell OR edible mollusk???? |
Allow me to help...that is NOT a vagina.
I know right?!
Tell me that does not look DEAD ON like someone's vagina in a shell?
AMIRIGHT?!
I mean, not mine, of course. My vagina looks like
Clearly mussels look more like...how shall I say, a "gently used" vagina as opposed to my pristine, top-of-the-line, designer vagina.
Mussels probably look more like Kim Kardashian's vagina-let's face it, that kitty has seen some SERIOUS action #FACT
Wait. What was I talking about?
Oh right. Mussels.
My point IS that they look like someone's vagina, FOR SURE, even if I don't have a specific name to offer you...
*ahem*
KIM KARDASHIAN, definitely KIM KARDASHIAN
It's not that I'm not gastronomically adventurous.
I tried mussels once.
They arrived in a delicious sauce but looking very unfortunately like a human, female vagina.
I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and sucked one down.
THE END.
That was the last vagina shaped mollusk that crossed MY palate.
I know what you're thinking and, yes, it has occurred to me. Perhaps if I was a lesbian, or at least bi-curious and I already had a favorable view of vaginas I may reallyreallyreallyreally enjoy eating mussels...
But...NO. Sorry. I guess I am just NOT a fan of vaginas in general.
Don't get me wrong, I like my own vagina just fine, I suppose. I can't think of any complaints off-hand anyways.
But I definitely don't want to EAT it.
I don't want to eat ANY vagina or vagina shaped mollusk or vagina shaped anything.
You could carve a giant CUPCAKE in the shape of a vagina and I wouldn't eat it.
Oh wait, someone HAS...
And I am DEFINATELY not eating that EITHER.
BLECH.
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