Welcome (reluctantly) Fiona!

Recently I posted that I have lost this angel.

What I failed to mention is that I acquired this naughty bitch shortly thereafter....

My four-year old niece named her Fiona.

She was a gift.

I should mention that I have never owned anything other than Shih-Tzu's before.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Shih Tzu breed, these dogs were bred to be lap warmers for Chinese aristocracy.  They have laid back, docile personalities and prefer to lay around like adorably useless lumps for most of their days.  

Like so...

Shih Tzu's want nothing more than to be sleeping near to their human and require almost nothing from you other than food, water and an occasional pat on the head.  They don't actually need a lot of direct attention, they only need to be near their human.  They will unfailingly follow you from room to room, but they wont demand to be picked up.  If you sit down, they'll be right up there next to you on the couch, falling into a sound sleep. 

Like so...

But a Shih Tzu wont bark or cry or whine if you are inaccessible.  If they can't be right next to you, they are happy to sit at your feet or near your feet or even just in the same room as you on a different couch. 

Even if that means they stare at you creepily from across the room.

Like so...

Yorkshire Terriers, on the other hand, NOT SO MUCH.

This creature has to be right directly ON TOP of you  OR-ELSE-THE-WHOLE-EARTH-WILL-IMPLODE-UPON-ITSELF.

Like so:

 

And so:

 



 

 

And so:

 

And so:

 

 

 

And so:

 

And so:

 

 

And so:

 

 

And so:

 

 

Needless to say, after a decade plus of low maintenance lap warmers, I'm a little out of my element.

 

This creature is pooping and peeing and yippy-yapping ALL over the place.  Anything that moves this dog thinks should be chased whilst YIPPY-YAPPING at the TIPPY-TOP of her lungs. 

We have failed out of puppy class TWICE. 

 

For failure to "sit" on cue. 

 

Yes.  That's right.  We cannot even master SIT.

When I say "sit", Fiona just stares at me....like this..

 

You want me to do what?  YOU want ME to do WHAT?!

If something moves in the vicinity of my Shih Tzu, she may not even notice, let alone chase said moving object.

Not Fiona. 

It doesn't matter if it's a shadow, a dust bunny, a leaf, a GIANT creature TWO TIMES her size-whatevs. 

If it moves, Fiona will chase after it barking and yippy-yapping as though said moving object has just committed any number of felonies and ALL-LAW-ENFORCEMENT-PERSONNEL-SHOULD-COME-IMMEDIATELY-RIGHT-NOW-OR-ELSE-EARTH-WILL-IMPLODE-UPON-ITSELF.

Case in point...

 

 

*that video is WAY funnier w/ audio, which it HAD until the day this post landed and *POOF* the video is all F**ked up and NO audio....motherfuckers*

Audio or no, it's clear that this cow was having NONE of her nonsense.

I wish I could say the same.

*sigh*

I would re-name this blog, mabelandfiona.com....if I knew how to do that.