Conversations on the Job: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

Recently I met with my client, Joe, and his mom.  Mom really, really, really wants her son, my client, Joe, to find gainful employment and get the HELL outta her house.

My client?

Not so much.

He's failed out of  quit three job programs so far (or maybe four, whose counting taxpayer dollars at this point...NOT ME).

So here we are...again.  Another year, another failed program. 

Mom was mad.  I mean, real mad. 

Joe was cool as a cucumber. 

I asked him about each program he's quit failed so far.  For one program (culinary school) he said that he developed an allergy to flames.  For another (janitorial work) he said he got bursitis.  For another, (loss prevention at a department store) it was straight up discrimination yo.

This whole time mom is shaking her head and making disbelieving noises (impossible to adequately describe here so use your imagination).  Finally, Mom had enough.

Mom: This is BULLSHIT.  He needs to get a job.
Me: Well Joe, what do you want to do?
Joe: I was thinking I'd like to be a CIA agent.
Me: That's very noble.
Joe: Thank you.
Me: You know what the number one skill you need to have to be a CIA agent is, right?
Joe: What?
Me: You need to be a good liar.
Joe: Oh I can lie.
Me: Oh, I know you can lie.  You done lied to me about four times so far this last half hour, but that's not what I said.  I said you need to be a good liar.
Joe: What?
Me: That means you need to lie & get away with it.  You're not so good at that Joe.
Joe: Oh.
Me: Soo...
*uncomfortable silence*
Joe: Well, I guess I'll be a massage therapist then.
Me: Good plan.