Dadisms: More (unwelcomed) STD advice

Remember last week when I ended up on the receiving end of an unwelcomed conversation on STD's? 

Apparently you and I are the ONLY ones who remember because today my dad attempted to give me the SAME lecture about how I am not to have any visitors whilst they are out of town and do I know about the danger of CRABS etc. etc. 

I cut him off, reminding him that he already told me this.

Dad:  I did?

Me: Yes.  You don't remember?

Dad: No.

Me: it happened last week.....

Dad: (no response)

Me: I am CONFIDENT we have already covered this...we had a whole conversation about it.  It started ok, but quickly morphed into a questionably appropriate conversation about STD's.

Dad: STD's?  Really?

Me: Yes, I'm surprised you don't remember.  I, on the other hand, was traumatized and it is forever burned into my memory.

Dad: (no response)

Me: I'm not going to refresh your memory because I don't want to relive it.

Dad: Gimme a hint.

Me: No.

Dad: *scratching his head*

Me: Dad, please.  Let's just move on.  Consider me sufficiently warned as to the dangers of unprotected sex.

Dad:  Was it about crabs?  Because I have a LOT of stories about crabs.

Me: Yes.

Dad: *giggling*  Did I tell you about how to get rid of them?

Me: Um...I'm pretty sure we covered everything I need to know.

Dad: *giggling harder* Did I tell you that if you go to the movies and buy some popcorn, then spread the popcorn out over your lap, they'll crawl out to eat the popcorn and then you leave while the crabs stay behind...

Me: (no response)

Dad: *now CRYING he's giggling so hard* Or you can sit on a mirror.

Me: (no response)

Dad: Don't you want to know why?

Me: Sure don't.

Dad: They-

Me: Stop.  Just stop.

Dad: Aren't you curious.

Me: No.  I am not.  Please go away.