Conversations: My Niece

This is a conversation I had with my niece, whom I shall call "Niece" and who is 4 and half.

For 4.5 years I have been telling her that the 4^th of July parade we go to each year is thrown for ME, in MY honor, to celebrate MY birthday. 

This year for the first time, that lie has backfired. 

More proof that getting old SUCKS ASS.

Me: You know what’s happening in two weeks?

Niece: Christmas!

Me: What?  No dude, it’s June. 

Niece: Ice cream!

Me: No, better.

Niece: *blank stare*

Me: My birthday!

Niece: Again?

Me: What do you mean again?

Niece: Aren’t you old enough yet?

Me: I deeply resent that but it’s ok, you can make it up to me by getting me something awesome for my birthday.

Niece: I know!  For your birthday, I will get you three packages that you can mail to me!

Me: What?  How does that even work?

Niece: I don’t know, but you could just do it ok?

Me: Whatever. That’s lame.  It’s my birthday, I’m supposed to get the packages, not you.

Niece: Well, you get the parade.

Me: Dammit.