Public Service Announcement: Bad words

This is a Public Service Announcement.

The following is a list of words that I have learned the hard way one should NOT use in front of children.

I know this because when I used these words in front of children one of the following occurred:

1) I was immediately yelled at by a nearby adult.

ie: the time I used the words "firecrotch" and "ratchet" in front of my sister's children (turns out those words are not commonly used in pre-school-FYI)

OR

2) Said child asked questions regarding my use of the word in a sentence indicating that they had no idea what the word meant which resulted in my having to explain the word in more detail than I was comfortable which made me realize said word was WAY above said child's level and led to my regretting having used the word in the first place on account of how I had to scramble to explain the word in ways that resulted in more confusion.

ie: the time I scolded my 4 year old neice for scratching/grabbing her vagina OVER her fancy new dress. 

Me: don't grab your vagina with your dress!  You'll get vagina juice all over it!

Neice: What's vagina juice?

See?

Totally awkward. 

I ended up offering her candy and taking the dress off of her instead of explaining what vagina juice is.

Explaining vagina juice is not really a conversation I want to have with a 4 year old.

Here is a list of words that I have learned the hard way should probably NOT be used in front of children (YOU'RE WELCOME):

firecrotch
ratchet
hooker
cunnilingus
ass-hat
mother fucker
uncle fucker (not to be confused with mother fucker...two TOTALLY different things)
fuckbag
buttplug
transvestite
Oh, what base are you at? (to your 13 y/o nephew re: his announcement that he has his first "girlfriend"-HUGE NO NO)
sugar daddy
porn
transvestite
transsexual
man shaft

I could go on, but I think you get the picture....

Duck Crack

My sister got me hooked on Duck Dynasty like it's pure crack. 

So from now on I will be using "y'all" as much as possible, dropping consonants, referring to people as "sissy rednecks" and demanding all y'all refer to me as "Miss" to get me through the withdrawl periods in between A&E marathons. 

I apologize ahead of time to my family & friends....

Attention Earth: WARNING.

Attention Earth:

Though I have it based on no real authority, reason nor factual information whatsoever, I am pretty sure that these puppies:

are laced with PURE crack and are part of some kind of Obama-care/left-wing liberal agenda conspiracy theory that, once consumed, will secretly coerce you into a GAY marriage as well as lead you towards sympathy for other LIBERAL leaning agendas such as the proliferation of LIQUID nacho cheese at sporting events, universal admiration of The History Channel, and the acceptance of “Crocs” as appropriate footwear. 

May God have mercy on your soul.

Meme Monday

OMG PEEPS, IT'S A NEW POST THEME!!!!! 

Meme Monday's!!!!

HURRAY!!!!!   Are you excited?  Yeah, me neither.  But I will post funny meme's on Monday's none the less so you should at least get used to it....OK?
GREAT.

Here you go bitches: